5. I still wouldn't have the desire
Six months would pass before we were to meet again and to be honest once you were out of my sight, you were out of my mind.
The thing is, Kana, at that point you were just one more young, attractive woman in a city that has no shortage of young, attractive women. Fukuoka, as I’m sure you know, is famous for the Hakata Beauty.[1] But more than that, as a man in the thick of his career, trying to balance work and family life, I honestly didn’t have any room left in that cluttered brain of mine for sexual fantasies.
When my wife was pregnant with our third son, she once fretted that I might have an affair. We had been married for six years by then and the thought of sleeping around had never really crossed my mind.
“My dear, Eiko, I don’t have the time, or the money, or the energy to go chasing after other women.”
“What if you did?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if you did have the time and the money and the energy?”
“I still wouldn’t have the desire, Eiko. I still wouldn’t have the desire. You, the boys, this one included,” I said, patting her tummy, “are more than I could have ever hoped for. My cup overflows with love and affection. How could I ever do anything to damage that?”
And the tears, the good kind again, welled up in her eyes, streamed down her cheeks.
Now, Kana, I want you to understand that what would happen between us was not something I had conspired to make happen. It was not something I had sought or hoped for.
It just happened.
There are others in my profession—and I really shouldn’t name names, but I think you know some of the men I am referring to—men who use their position, their authority, their proximity to young women to prey upon them. Mind you, these men are in their fifties and sixties and yet are still doing their damnedest to sleep with young women. I never quite know whether to be disgusted or inspired by it all.
What you must keep in mind, most of these men, middle-aged boys really, were terribly awkward when they were young and had no outlet for the sexual energy coursing through their flabby, pasty bodies. Many of them married in their late twenties—marriages that were more often than not arranged by doting mothers—and they managed to produce one to three kids with their plain wives and lead otherwise uneventful lives.
But then something happens inside their brains when they hit forty. They’re like cars that haven’t been driven the way they were supposed to: sooner or later they break down on the side of the road. I’ve seen it time and again. Their actions grow erratic; they make mistakes, stupid mistakes. And, even if they get caught, there really are no consequences for their behavior because they are tenured professors.
I know one professor, the dean of one of the departments, actually, who invites young women to his home to discuss this and that and eventually offers to pay them for their company and other “benefits”. That is his M.O., as they say, and it seems to work for “The Merry Widower”.
Another professor, a man in his late fifties, stalks students. Unlike the dean, who does not seem to be very picky, this professor has rather good, albeit predictable taste in women. The target of his advances tends to be slim, but busty, have long black hair, and hail from the countryside. Why? Who knows?
What I’m trying to say, is there are those who pursue these kinds of relationships, some who work harder at getting laid than they do at their job, period. I was, am, not one of them. No, to be quite honest, I was broadsided by would happen between us.
[1] Hakata (博多) is another name for Fukuoka City. Many of the local products and arts originating from Fukuoka are known as “Hakata this” or “Hakata that”, such as Hakata ningyō (dolls), Hakata-ben (dialect), and Hakata ori (textiles). Hakata Bijin (博多美人), or the Hakata Beauty, refers to the legendary beauty of the women from the region. The Japanese with their predilection for naming “The Three Greats” (三大, Sandai-) claim the Three Great Beauties of Japan are the Akita Bijin (Akita), Kyō Bijin (Tōkyō), and Hakata Bijin (Fukuoka). For more on Hakata, go here.