On Sunday evening we received an email from the kids’ school informing us that one of the cooks in the kitchen had contracted COVID-19. (Uh-oh.) The school assured us parents that the person in question had had no contact with teachers or students. It also said that the remaining cooking staff had been sent home to quarantine for two weeks. What’s more, professional cleaners had been brought in to disinfect the kitchen and related areas over the weekend. As a result of the steps that had been taken, kids would be able to go to school on Monday with only one change: there would be no apple jam in Monday’s school lunch as the infected person had been in charge of it.

I asked my wife why the school would even bother mentioning the jam.

“Because some petty-minded parent would complain,” she replied. “There was no apple jam in my child’s school lunch!”

True. True.

Now, I wouldn’t say we were on pins and needles about this, but still I was checking my email every now and again to see if a cluster would develop at the school.

Well, late Monday night, we got another email from the school. Fortunately it was about a different kind of exposure.

“What is it,” my wife asked, her voice tense.

Just another pervert, I answered.

“Oh, what a relief!”